I feel like every guy that I’ve liked has kinda just rejected me. Which, it’s totally fine and cool it — for the most part it turns out to be for the best because I find out really horrible things about them. And so it’s always like “Oh I’ve kinda dodged a bullet” but this is the first guy that, you know, it kinda hurts, it kinda stings. But on the plus side, I mean I didn’t cry about it until like I was on the phone call with my mom like talking with — like our weekly phone calls and she asked me how I was and then I just broke down into tears. So I’m kind of using this as sort of a motivational thing. It sounds like I haven’t processed it. I think I was waiting for this rejection in order to make a change. I feel like it’s what I needed in order to actually implement the next phases of my life, which is, I’m actually gonna do running again.

I really loved running. It’s one of those things where I don’t like doing it in public, but I love running like a track or on the treadmill. Just something that gets my blood pumping. And, you know, I don’t like doing it competitively either but it’s just something that I’ve been wanting to do for the longest time, but really haven’t found the confidence to do. So I’m kind of using this whole situation of this guy rejecting me as a way to run more. I did today. I ran for three miles. I was pacing myself, so I’m just very excited, I think, about you know, now I don’t have to focus on him and whether or not “do I look good” or anything. I know I look good. I know I’m killing it. Now it’s just a matter of actually implementing my life changes, which now I have time to think about ‘cause I’m not thinking about him. So I’m actually super excited to begin this new phase in life and you know, it turns out that the way that it works in my situation, ro- uh, romantic relationships always hit when I least expect them or when I’m not looking for them. So maybe this is a good opportunity.