Note: There is language that is excluded in the transcript but not excluded in the audio. So, the night before this [diarist's boyfriend's] hearing recently to determine whether or not the judge would possibly reduce his bond or anything like that, I was setting up a Christmas tree I got as a surprise gift, and the Northern Lights were supposed to be out a little bit. And I had kind of seen them, little hints of them, during the night before I tried setting up this tree. And I needed to take a break because the lights on the tree were just bothering me. And I went outside and I saw a shooting star, and I tend to think those are good luck and it's not -- I mean, I know it's during sort of a meteor shower right now, but the meteor shower in December isn't like super crazy compared to the Perseids. And I was only out there for maybe ten minutes because it was so cold. So, I chose to see that as good luck. I did not at all think that his bond would be changed. But I insisted on walking to the courthouse for this hearing, even though his family was in town from a different state for it, and offered to drive me. Because it's relatively close to where I live, and I walk there every week to do a video conference visit for free. And I just needed to do it. And because I have such a terrible sense of direction in buildings, other than hospitals, I went to the second floor of the building first. Which, normally, I mean, the second -- it's a two-story building that has the main courthouse in an annex. And I normally am familiar with the annex and am not familiar with how it connects to the courthouse. So I went upstairs first and then tried to cross over, but it was under construction. And I stopped and asked for directions from somebody who is, just happened to be absolutely f***ing terrible at giving directions. They were talking about wooden doors, and they were all wooden doors. It's a courthouse. Built a long time ago. And I was already somewhat late. I was getting, I was within five minutes of the hearing. And I was real confused, and so when I turned around to go back the…

Years ago for Christmas, my son said, "Oh, you have one more gift coming." And I'm like, okay, that's cool. You know, but it isn't here yet. So, then all of a sudden it did come, like sometime in January. And it was a sequined pillow with the face of Nicholas Cage on it. And I just texted him, "Why?" And he just thought it was the funniest thing ever. You know, you can take, you can take Nicholas Cage and you can turn the sequins a different way and give him a mustache or make his hair long. I mean, there's all kinds of things you can do to play around with it. So this Christmas -- so I have it, I've kept the original one and this Christmas, I opened up my last gift and it was a sequined pillow of Danny DeVito. So I have the two of them now, side by side in the arm chair that I have in the living room. But yeah, that was -- then that one came from my daughter because she found it. And they used to joke with me about, just calling me Danny DeVito. I'm not really sure why they were -- they just thought it was funny. So it is kind of an inside joke and again, you know, when people do that it's because they love you. If they did not love me, they would not make fun of me and call me Danny DeVito.

It was Christmas Day and I was cooking in the kitchen. And the kids were playing. They were three and five. And I lived in Detroit. And they were playing with their toys. But as I was cooking in the kitchen, I noticed the silence. And I was like, "Hmm, what's going on?" So I snuck into their bedroom, and they were making Christmas cards for my mother, who was coming over that night. Here I thought they were getting into things. And they were so -- doing something nice, and nothing to worry about. It was amazing. Usually, when it's all too quiet in a house with kids, anybody knows, in a house with kids when it gets too quiet, something's up. Not that day. That day, they were making Christmas cards for their Po-Po.

“Tell us about your worst driving in the snow story.” Oh, man. Okay, so I was driving home. This was like two years ago, last year maybe. And I was trying to get to church. It was the Advent Penance service. Yeah, so it was last year around Christmas. I was driving back from Lansing, and I'm driving home, and it was bad but it then got really bad the last five miles, okay, to my church. Like real -- like I have never been able to just not -- I couldn't even tell if my car was moving, because the whiteout was so whiteout. The motion of the snow, and there was -- and you couldn't -- in relation to nothingness, right? Like there was nothing. I couldn't see the snow land, I couldn't see beyond the snow. And I'm driving, and I'm like, at this point, like, it's just full-blown talking to God at this point. Because I'm just like, "Lord, like if you want -- Don't you want me to go to church?" Like, "Why are you making this harder?" Like, "Why are you making this so hard on me right now?" Like, "This is scary and this is crazy." Well. After that, after that prayer, you know, there was a brief, a brief clearing. And in front of me were people in the road, because their cars had completely fallen off the side. It wasn't just like a ditch. It's like a cliff. Okay, so their cars are vertical. Like, the engine part's up in the air, the trunk is like on the ground. You know, on this very steep hill. There's two cars like this. And the people, they had gotten out and they were standing in the road. And I'm thinking -- and I would, I would have hit them and killed them, okay? Because one, I was trying to stay on the -- and I could barely feel any kind of rumbles and I'm just trying to stay on any kind of rumble that I could barely feel through all the layers of snow. I couldn't see, again, I couldn't even tell you -- I had to look at the speedometer to see if I was even moving, because at this point, I wasn't even adding gas anymore. I wasn't really braking. I'm just kind of like, I don't really know if I'm…