I live right in between two beachy tourist towns and I go to school in one town, and then on the other side of me, that town is where I work. I work in a small coffee shop that serves coffee and waffles. It's really sweet. I love it so much. And I've worked there for three years now, and just this summer, this past summer, would be my third year working there. So I'm really one of the most experienced workers there, which is crazy because I'm only [a teenager]. I got hired super young. I don't know if that's actually legal, but it's a small town. It's a small town, and the coffee got made, and I got a lot of good tips because I'm kind of more of a social person, I can chat up customers. Like it's just fun for me, you know? So I had, like, a chat with my boss because she needed some new workers and I was like, "I know some people." So I got two of my very best friends hired, and halfway through the summer I came back -- because this summer, I actually did an exchange program where I went and I lived in Guatemala for a month. I went to school there, I like did culture there, really improved my Spanish there. You know, like just all the exchange things, immersion things that you would do. And so I came back and my friends had been working there all summer and I was like, "This is so great!" And then once I got back, one of my friends, who is a year older than me but like it never feels like that, she kind of like started telling me what to do at work and like teaching me things. And I'm like, "Girl, you realize I trained you?" And she's like, "Oh yeah, but like, this has been done wrong." And while like I really did appreciate a lot of the things she said, because some of the things she taught me, I was like, "Yeah, no, I've never known that hack, actually. That's really helpful," or like, "This is -- yeah, I, I actually was never trained in this. I just kind of had to figure it out, so if you want to show me how to do it, that's great." And we had a lot of…

And I just, I wanted to share some things that I think would particularly help seniors. So, first of all, my first realization of this week was that you are not behind at all. Every single person that I know was talking about this feeling that they're behind, okay? I'm talking the smartest of the smartest, the best of the best. I'm talking people, you know, if we, who, we share the same boat, we each have the same like grades, same like level of comprehension of things, like we are literally, we have the same level of abilities and a lot of different things and we were like, we still were panicking just as much as the people who were more competitive than us and less competitive, competitive than us. It didn't matter how competitive they were, if they had the same feeling. And so, no matter where you are, you are not alone and you're not behind, okay? It's just, it's a common feeling amongst all. And so, the reason I also say you're not behind is because I think that, like realistically, speaking from, you know, the beginning of September, we have a long time before college apps are due. And yes, there are some scholarships that go out like earlier and like, you know, they close up faster or whatever, but realistically this is the very beginning, we still have a lot of time to prepare. We have a lot of time to add new activities to our list and take on more volunteering opportunities and do whatever, and even if we don't do like, like two things, even if we do a single item, that's still good like, even if you add a singular thing to your list of activities until college apps you're good, like it doesn't have to be a big thing, you know. Even if you don't add anything at all like who's to say that your application isn't already spectacular. Just because you think it's bad does not mean that it's bad. Okay, and trust me we are really bad at judging stuff, like, we are notoriously bad.

Okay, I'll just, I'll start with the realization. And it's a really obvious one, I think, but yeah. It's just -- it's so sad that so many people aren't, like, happy. Like, that's it. That's literally it. Um, but it's more about perceived problems, and more about just the idea that like, I guess there's so many ways to be silly and funny and fun and joyful, and you just -- people aren't, you know? And, I don't know why. I especially saw it with my teachers. And I have, I'd say like at least six particularly good teachers. And especially one of them, who I no longer have her class this year, I was like -- I genuinely thought that she would be a happier person, just like in general. 'Cause like in class she seems fine, you know, especially like last year and stuff. And I know people have their own problems and not- nothing is -- like not everything's perceived. Some of it is actually real and I'm like, sorry about it, but, I don't know. It's just, it's a little bit like, strange, that the way people grow up, it -- how it's so normalized that like, yeah, like you have, you've gotta be professional and you've gotta be like strict, and you've gotta, I don't know. Like, just, you've gotta be mean, essentially, you know. And like, she's a really nice person. It's just like, she's -- like, I was like, I was so shocked. Because like, we had a club, and we were all laughing and being silly, and she was just, like distant, and cold. And like we were talking to her and we were laughing and like, we kept trying to make, bro, like joke after joke. Like I was like -- I wasn't even trying to like get her to like us. I was just trying to make her smile. And it was like how is -- like, why? Like she is such a nice person. Ho- -- why? Like how is she not okay? Like what, what is going on? You can't ask that. You know, like it's your teacher. You can't just be like, "Hey, what's going on?" Like you -- I, I guess you could, but it's not, it's not really our business. So I was like, "Something has gotta be wrong," but it, it really wasn't. Like…

So what I want to talk about though is my personal idea of things that scare me, but not -- I think a lot of people are scared of this stuff but they don't know what it is that they're scared of or maybe they just haven't thought about this stuff enough to name it. So I'm just gonna say them in whatever order comes to mind, because I don't think I'm gonna be able to rank them, or yeah, I don't know.  So I think the first one is the fear of being misunderstood because I think I really, really, really, really value deep conversation and being able to talk to someone freely without having to take on a role of anyone, pretty much. So that includes taking on the role of someone who's interested in a certain singer, artist, brand, I guess, book, movie, video game, physical game, like anything, you know? You just, you just are who you are, but I think it's really difficult for a lot of people to even know who they are because I think especially here in the United States, everyone just basically is born and raised in your typical, like, I guess -- I don't know if this is accurate. At least in privileged areas for most people, it's common to like certain brands like, I don't know, Lululemon and American Eagle and Hollister, and Aerie -- all that stuff. It's no hate to like those brands or whatever, I'm sure that they're great, I'm sure that the people who like them like them for a reason, but I sometimes think that it's not so much that they truly like them, but that they wear them to feel liked.   And I really hate that idea because I think, I mean, obviously we all value the idea of belonging to a community and we all value, even in colleges -- in college tours and whatever, you hear them say this a lot, "We have a close-knit community," and, you know, "Everyone has like a group of friends, everyone's super friendly," all that stuff. But I don't know how much that applies to people who are, um -- like how much that would apply to people if they were more themselves. I think maybe we just all -- even myself.  Like, you know, when people say like, "What are your values?" I think authenticity is always something that comes to my…

But now, about how we got checked in, it was actually really crazy ’cause this happened pretty much exactly frame for frame, word for word, not gonna lie, when we were in Turkey. Like, when I was nine years old with my mom. And now, what essentially happened was, we were trying to check in and we'd already paid, we'd already booked for, you know, two nights and we were like, “Yeah,” we were like, you know, "we're here." And it was actually like, 8:30, instead of 3, 'cause we could technically check in at 3 p.m. but it was 8:30 and they were like, "Oh," like, "hi!" And they were -- we were like, "Hi," and they were just not finding our name, and we were like, "What, what?" And then – ’cause I'm obviously tired but I was actually hysterically laughing and it wasn't because it was funny, it was just because I was so shook that it was happening a second time. I was like, this is actually surreal, what? I know this isn't probably that crazy to hotel receptionists and stuff, but it's pretty crazy to me. So, and then she's like, "Yeah.” Whatever, and she's actually really cool. She just seemed like such a diva, not gonna lie, but anyway, she was like, "Yeah, we can you know -- why don't you call your third party place." Because she was like, "All of the third party places that have been letting people book their hotel haven't been working for a couple of days." And we're like, "Oh, yikes, okay." So we try to call Booking. Literally no phone number online, and they under -- they say, they're like, "Call us 24/7, we are always available," and like, okay, great. What's your -- where's your phone number? And we fill out this entire form and we give them all of our information for booking and they're like, "Yeah. So, why don't we just stay in touch?" And we're like, "Where's your phone number?"  So of course I asked ChatGPT ’cause it's actually the best thing ever. I don't understand the hate. I understand the environmental concerns but I don't understand AI hate. Maybe I'll talk about that later if we have time but, yeah. Um, and I was like, “What,” I asked ChatGPT and I was like, "What is their number? Do you have their number?"…

So the other day, I was at the beach, and I was with my eight year old sister, right? And these two very cute boys were like playing with their little sister. Like my sister and I have a huge age gap, right? But like, they looked like they had a huge age gap too, but I only saw one at the first time, and then I realized there was another one, right? And so that was really exciting, right? And so my sister had the same swimsuit on as their sister, right? So I was like, "Go to him," and like, "Go to her and be like, 'Hey, we have the same swimsuits on, like we should play together.'" Of course, she didn't do it, but she went to -- was like, "Oh my gosh, we have the same swimsuit," and she was like, "Oh, that's so fun!" And so I'm reading because -- out on the beach because I had already been in the water. And my parents are like, "Oh, we gotta go," and I'm like, "No, no, please! The boys! The boys! Let me watch!" And that sounds a little creepy, but it's okay, right? Um, but anyways, I get in the water with her, and like, I keep having her inch me out, because I'm in this inner tube right? So I have her push me out towards them. And I'm trying to make it look like, like I love my sister, and I do, but I'm trying to make it look like that I want to play with her and like I'm like them because I just want to play with my little sister. And my sister's a little autistic, right? So she, she keeps pushing me as close as she can, not knowing the assignment, and keeps singing “Kiss the Girl,” like I swear, she's just singing “Kiss the Girl,” being the most, like, so loud. But it was so funny anyways, and I thought that was so funny.

Like, on the way to work, there was also quite a bit of rain. Like, um, last week, it was me coming home, like after work there was rain for one day. The other day I brought my umbrella and everything, but it didn't rain on my way back. It did rain during the -- when I was working though. And then for this week, yesterday, actually, ran -- it rained on my way there. So I was, um... Basically, I got entirely soaked. I had a umbrella and everything, but like it wasn't enough, 'cause the rain was a lot, plus a lot of wind as well. And, yeah. I ended up having to go to there, change my clothes into my work uniform. And then, you know like the, the air dryer for the -- like the hand dryer in the bathroom? I basically used that for a little bit on my clothes and my wet bag. I did bring a change of shoes, like kind of Crocs-like things for -- I changed into that to walk there, and then my actual like tennis shoes were in my bag, a plastic bag, so that stayed dry, thankfully. But my clothes in my other bag, my tote bag, where I put all my other stuff did not stay dry, so that was not good. But eventually it dried out, and then, um, I wore -- I changed back into the clothes I wore on the way to work on the way back. So that also dried during that period. Um, so that's pretty much it, but like honestly, there were even people, like, who stopped me on my way there, just like, "Do you need help?" 'cause like I'm walking through the rain, the wind's blowing so hard, they were like, "Do you need help, like, driving anywhere?" I'm like, "Nah." You know, stranger danger, even if they're nice. But also, like, some people were just like, "You should go home." Like, "Nope, I got work." That's sad. But you know what? I actually like being in the rain. It's just like the after, the aftermath of it, like having to clean up the water and everything. Drying. That's the thing I don't like. But I do like being in the rain. That itself feels nice, especially during hot days.

I want to learn about other people. I wanna listen to their stories. So... I mean, all of that's really true and I really hope that the other person --- and, I guess, Stanford [University] --- understand how much I really do mean this. And I was talking with my mom about this, and she was like, "Well, you know, you don't want to be, like, too nice, because then they could, like, take advantage of you and not like in an evil way, just in a way that they wouldn't notice that they're not giving back as much as they're receiving," and I was like, "Yeah, I-I guess," but, like, niceness is such a... I guess, I dunno. It's infectious. I feel like, if you're nice to someone, they're gonna --- it's contagious, you know? They're gonna catch it, they're gonna be nice, hopefully. Um. And it's less about them giving back... that feeling to me and more about them just doing... doing something good to someone else, not even to me, but just like the idea of making some sort of a cycle. Of starting a chain of doing something good, and having it come back somehow, somewhere in the world to someone. That's a pretty good feeling.

I just got done with my last math final. Um, like the last final, it was a math final. And it was, safe to say, probably the worst math test I've ever taken. It was like, it wasn't even a matter of how much I knew the content, because I did know the content. The issue wasn't that, the issue was that there was so little time, that by the time I got to -- 'cause there was two portions, it was like calculator allowed and non-calculator, um, and it was non-calculator first. By the time I got to my calculator allowed portion, I had 15 minutes less than I was supposed to. Keep in mind, this is an 85-minute test. So for that, it was actually insane. And it wasn't that I had spent too much time on the first section, because I, like, gave each question the time it needed, it was just that I started doing the calculator portion without a calculator to like, get ahead. And then I thought I was like, you know, doing fine on time. And then I start doing the second portion and I look at the time. It's like -- oh my gosh, it was crazy. I had like, I don't know, like 35 minutes. And then I'm like, “Okay, I'm gonna keep going.” 'Cause it was 35 points for the first section. So I was supposed to spend 35 minutes, about, 'cause it's like a minute per mark. And then for the second portion, I was supposed to spend 45 minutes. Um, and after the first like, I don't know -- yeah, after the first 10 minutes of trying to do the calculator portion, I realized that there were so many questions that needed such a deeper understanding. That needed such -- like, so much more detail and so many more steps that I just didn't know how to do with that much time. You know? Like you had to think about it, it wasn't like, "Oh, like what's two plus two?" Like it wasn't like -- you know? It wasn't just telling you what to do, you had to decode the question before you could even solve it. So I started trying to figure it out, and I realized that I couldn't figure it out, there was nothing to figure out, and so I was just hoping for partial…

Have I ever petted a wild animal? Actually, I'll tell you the story. When we were in Yellowstone, we went to this wild prairie dog land, and one of the momma prairie dogs came out, and -- 'cause we were sprinkling Cheerios everywhere. And one of the momma prairie dogs came out, and she got so close to my hand, she almost took the Cheerio from it. And then we saw her little babies pop up. I think I've petted -- I actually don't know. I don't know if I have. I didn't pet the prairie dog, but I'm trying to think if I ever did. Oh, I've touched a stray cat. Does that count? I don't know.