“Have you lost your mind? Why did you ever sign up to do this?”

There were some good questions this week about theater and my thespian career. My – I mean an opportunity to talk about my, my time, as a as an actress, haha. But I sort of have this vague feeling, that I’ve told this story before, and to this diary, so guess I might be a little repetitive. But you know, whenever like there’d be a school type performance in like K-12- not K-12 like through through elementary school or whatever. I get, I tend to get picked for stuff like that. Or a church I should say also. Just because, mostly because I was good at memorizing lines and had a loud voice. So I mean, of course, I would get a role. But high school where, I had a, a friend, a guy, I worked with that was really into theater and he encouraged me to try out for a play. And at first, I, I think I didn’t get the role. I got maybe a bit part, but whoever got the role couldn’t do it. And so, I got it even though I was like only a sophomore, which was- And back then my high school started in like tenth grade. Yeah, so we didn’t have freshman, freshman in high school. So as sophomore. It was young to have a lead role like that. But I did it. And it did kind of get me hooked. I really liked the camaraderie of the cast and crew working together and I think, I like the challenge of, you know, having to memorize lines and memorize blocking and stage craft and all of that. and, what really stuck with me – And I can remember all these years later, was the way we felt on opening night. At least, the way I felt on opening night because, I was so nervous. And, you know, I think there was a part of myself that was asking like, like, “Have you lost your mind? Why did you ever sign up to do this?” Because the thought of walking out on stage with all those eyes on you and you had to say, you know, the lines like they were written and move to your mark. I mean it just seemed like it was just an impossibly hard thing to do. It was terrifying and then we got through it and it went really well. And that was such a buzz to go from feeling like terrified to feeling like completely exhilarated and you get hooked to you completely get why people, absolutely just feel like it’s, it’s, their calling.