Speaking of which, I need to get an axe, and I don’t know if getting a used axe from the internet is a good idea or a bad idea. And before you connect one and two together in a bad way, my neighbor finally downed the dead birch tree in her yard, finally. And there’s a lot of really good logs. And it turns out birch is actually pretty heavy. I don’t own a chainsaw, um, because I just — I’ve never needed a chainsaw. I ha- — Do I have loppers? I don’t think I even have loppers. I think I just don’t have anything. I have hedge shears, but that’s not quite what I need. And I need to get an axe to split the wood. But I don’t own an axe. And I mean there’s the question of what happens when I buy a used axe, and what did the previous owner do with the axe? And that’s a scary question when you’re buying off of, like, Craigslist or something ’cause Craiglist is kind of shady sometimes.
Anyway, everyone’s afraid to let me borrow an axe now, apparently, for murder reasons. Why would I murder someone with an axe? Um, yeah, so I don’t know what to do because it’s nice to have a bonfire, but it’s also nice to be able to not chuck a literal entire log onto the bonfire and hope it catches. Hence, I need to buy an axe or borrow an axe. Apparently, no one’s going to let me borrow an axe because they either like, you know, like I just said, or they just don’t have an axe on them. I guess normal people don’t just own axes for whatever reason. I’ve got a firefighter, maybe I can ask that guy!