“We were literally just like going on anything that looked like it could have been trekked by any human before ever.”

So, on our first day here we decided to go on a hike. There's this giant mountain in the town, and it's got this like little chapel on top and the giant cross, and somebody in like the group said, "Hey, let's go hiking." And I didn't think they meant like the giant mountain, on day one in the middle of the day, as "Let's go hiking." But you know, I was like, "What else am I gonna do, sit around?" I didn't really wanna sit around. I'm trying to like do one -- like go to class and then do like one thing out in the afternoon each day. So I decided to go and oh my gosh, we had to walk uphill all the way across the entire town to even get to the mountain. So I was kind of like sweating it already when we got there. And then that thing was steep. It was so, so steep. And my group, they were like running. I'm like, "I have no idea how the heck you guys are going that fast." Like, I was trying to stop and get water, and at one point, a couple of the girls, we like stopped. And we like sat down and then three of them left, but my one friend and I stayed back for a minute because she has asthma. And I was like, "Okay, well, I'm not gonna like leave you because you're like the only person on this entire trip that I know. So we are gonna take it up nice and slow." So, by this point, because we waited a whole like three minutes, and we're like, halfway up this mountain, the group is nowhere in sight. So we're just like going along and we're following the path, and we get to this point where there's two different roads you can take. One is kind of like roped off and looks a little bit sketchy. And the other one is like up stairs, like, in the vague direction of the cross, which is where we're trying to get to on the top of this mountain. So we go up the stairs, and then there's like a bunch of things that are like kind of paths but not really. And we like try to follow the best ones, but we're pretty sure that we're like not exactly on…

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“So then you got the problem of trying to get a 260 pound fish into the boat“

Every morning the boat picked us up at 6 a.m. and they said, “Well, we'll be fishing until about two o'clock,” but most of the days, we'd quit maybe a half hour early. So we fished for four days from Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from six in the morning until close to two in the afternoon. And the first day we were there, we went out for a tuna fish, and we ended up, I think we caught maybe about 100 pounds of tuna. The tuna was weighed probably about fifty or sixty pounds each and -- had a lot of fun bringing him in. The first one I was bringing in a shark took a bite out of it, but that's not an uncommon event there, that the shark sees that you've got a fish on the line and it’s vulnerable and it takes a sample. So, that was our first day of fishing. And the second day, I had never in my life, caught a bill fish. So, we went out looking for marlin. And I managed to hook one that weighed about 260 or 70 pounds. And took me about a half hour to reel it in and probably I was somewhat fortunate in that the marlin had totally swallowed my bait. And when he came, in the marlin was dead. So then you got the problem of trying to get a 260 pound fish into the boat and our captain and his helper managed to do that by taking a towel and wrapping it around that big sword on the front of the fish and getting its head up onto the edge of the boat and then slowly bringing it in like, maybe a foot at a time with tugging on it and bending on that sword to have some some leverage and still having some of the fish's body down in the water. But we managed to get that all in.

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“It was unthinkable to ponder a world with my mom not in it”

Have I ever had to be the bearer of bad news? Well, yes and I guess I thought of -- my mind immediately went to times when I've had to bear the worst news of all, which is that someone had passed away although in the cases I'm thinking about it's -- it wasn't completely unexpected. It was just I was there and the other people weren’t.  One was when my sister died. No, why am I saying my sister died? When my mom died, my sister was out with my aunt. I mean, I had come home because I knew mom was sick. There – I mean, she was now in hospice. They thought she had about six weeks or so. So I was just home to, you know, have a visit or whatever and she ended up passing away while I was home and my sister was out running errands with my -- my aunt. And so, I just had to hold it together and call, I don’t know if I called my aunt or my sister, but I said, “I think you guys should come home.” I wouldn't say why. And they didn't ask, which I was grateful for and they, they came home. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go beyond the little part of the question here, just say because I have more to talk about, delivering the bad news but, that was such a -- I've often thought about that being like this really nice gift that my mom gave me. Not that she passed away because I didn't want that to happen. But, you know, she was – I thought she had six more weeks. So this was a visit I made, and then I expected there was gonna come a phone call I would get that it was -- you know, it was time, and I would have to make that -- I would have to you know, get on a plane, and, you know, make the long drive from the airport to their house in -- like just consumed by grief either because she had passed away or was really close. And I dreaded that. I dreaded the prospect of being in that much, you know, anguish and feeling, you know, that emotionally beat up and having to do all of the travel. Just negotiating all of the travel. You know you hit…

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“I’m afraid of change”

I'm afraid of things changing to the point that I can't control. I'm afraid of -- you know, cause I'll be going to college next year, I guess, technically this year in three months, and I'm afraid of not finding people as good as I had them at high school and at our high school because it wasn't really a traditional high school. It was like, I don't know how to explain it. But everyone there, I guess most people there were pretty dedicated and pretty smart people and really committed to learning and making the best out of things. And they were also really sweet, and they were really kind, and they were funny, and they were fun, and everyone I guess most people were often typically themselves and I'm afraid that I won't be able to find such a community in the places that I'll go to next. I am afraid that. I will lose my own authenticity, and I guess whimsicality, if you will, because Iife will make me serious, I won't be a kid anymore. And, you know, I'll be 18 in a few months, I guess I'll be legally an adult. And maybe things will change, and I won't feel like me anymore. And it'll feel odd and it'll feel off. Yeah, I'm afraid of change.

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