“I was really grateful for Christmas…”

The first question is "What are you grateful for this week?" So as you know, Sunday was Christmas, and I was really grateful for Christmas, just in general. Christmas traditions, Christmas food, Christmas movies, Christmas presents, Santa, all those. So that's what I'm just really, you know, grateful for this week.

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“… what motivates me to work hard is probably a team record for swim team.”

"What motivates you to work hard? Is there anything you've worked really hard on? One of our team members would try to do good in school because their parents gave her money for good grades." I've always wanted money for good grades. But then my parents would have to pay a bunch of money. Yeah, I probably won't brag like that. That was super rude. I'll never brag like that again. Okay, what motivates me to work hard is probably a team record for swim team. I moved to like a bigger club team, that's like, you know, more extreme, more like intense. Like, it's like all of a sudden swimming went from like something fun to do to, like, "I love this," like, "This is something I have to work really really hard on." So I got like a ton of team records for my old team because it was like a small team, small town, but this year and last year - so last year, I actually was .24 seconds off of a record that I worked very, very hard at all year long. So this year, I'm hoping to get to my new age group record. I have a little bit of work to do, but I have next year to do it too. So I'm working really, really hard and hoping to get there. So that's what motivates me to work hard. Just - And the feeling afterward of just like accomplishment, but also a team record.

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“… when I’m feeling good, I can be a lot more generous.”

I think the other part, really, is my mental health during covid and after. Like, pre-covid I was doing a lot of like mindfulness practices, meditation and going to yoga really often, and feeling overall pretty good, and then through covid because of the stress of contact tracing, and the stress everyone was experiencing, that just really fell away, and I think for me one of the sort of cornerstone things I noticed when I'm starting to not feel great is that I really shift into this scarcity mindset. So I think it plays - this conversation plays really nicely into the topic this week about generosity and greed because I find that when I am not feeling well mentally or I'm feeling stressed, it's really hard for me to be generous. I shift into this, like, "Everything is scarce. My - you know, I don't have enough time. I don't have enough money. I don't have enough A, B, C, or D. I can't possibly share these things," versus when I'm feeling good, I can be a lot more generous. I start to think of things in sort of an abundance mindset, and I feel like that is sort of my lesson to be learned in life. Like, how do I understand kind of through the ups and downs, the trials and tribulations of life, that there is not a limited quantity of the things that matter. Like, there's not a limited quantity of love in my life, or like I can be generous. Not always financially because that is a concrete thing that sometimes is limited, but I can be generous in my time, or you, know, listening to somebody, supporting somebody. And so that's something I'm aware of needing to work on. I know that it feeds into that feeling of like, "I have no free time. I need to -" I just always picture, kind of, like the troll under the bridge like, "Mine mine mine mine mine," like when I start to feel this way, of like I just feel myself wanting to hunker down and like pull close the things that are important to me and guard them. I guess, I'm also thinking of like a food-insecure dog or whatever you call it when they get really cranky if you are near them when they're eating, so they might let you in the same…

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“I’ll… see what’s going on there and see if I can fix it.”

Note: Some language has been edited out of the transcript that has not been edited out of the audio. I was gonna talk about getting into crappy situations 'cause you're over confident. So this one time I was like - you know, people will buy toys and s*** from their childhood because of nostalgia. They're just like "Aw yeah, I wanna see what it's like as an adult," or you know, they just want to have it, whatever. I did such a thing, and my toy made noise, only the speaker was broken. So I thought, you know, I'll open up the back panel and just see what's going on there and see if I can fix it. And this toy has multiple buttons, meaning there are multiple wires going to the same speaker, and so while I was sitting there trying to reconnect a wire for the speaker that had become disconnected, I accidentally like broke a wire to a different button. And I'm not talking like disconnected, I mean like broke, because this toy was from like the really early '90s. So like there are parts of the wire that were just exposed inside 'cause they weren't planning on anybody opening this toy up. And so I had bent it enough times that the metal had weakened and then broken. And that's - that's of not very much consequence. It wasn't like a super expensive purchase.

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