“It looked like boiling water…if the water were cookies.”

I failed at making cookies and they're like -- so I, I thought -- cuz for some reason I was just craving cookies, right? So then I went to make the cookies. I did all the right ingredients and I looked up, like, how to make sugar cookies cuz I was gonna make chocolate chip, but we didn't have any more chocolate chips left, so I just made sugar cookies. And so I looked up how to make sugar cookies, but, um -- so I added all the right ingredients and I added all the right amounts, but something was wrong. I think it was the flour. I think I didn't mix it well enough, cuz there was still chunks in it. So when I rolled them into balls and put them on the, on the pan or whatever, they were like bubbling in the oven like i- if -- it looked like boiling water, but if they -- if the water were cookies. So they were like boiling and then when I got them out, it was all just like one cookie, like one really hard cookie, and half of it was burnt, and half of it wasn't cooked at all. And it was just really bad.

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“The bagels are evil.”

My partner and I both lost our battles with a Panera bagel yesterday, so. When we began our drive back, we stopped at Panera, so I was like, "Let's pick up some bagels that we can have Monday morning." So, I was going in the office earlier so I was leaving first. I was awake on my own and I've cut myself the same way on a bagel before where it's like I'm kind of sawing at it towards my hand. And so I'm actively thinking about it. And I was like, "Okay, let me hold the bagel a bit further from my hand and let me be careful." But I don't know if I was just thinking too hard about it or I just, you know, shoulda gotten out the cutting board and, and cut it on there instead of cutting towards my hand, but I learned my lesson because I immediately got caught near the end and, and sliced my hand, I'd say pretty badly for me but not too badly. I didn't have to go to, like, the ER or anything. Didn't cut anything important. I bled a lot because you know, it's my hand and I, I gave a decent like centimeter, two centimeter long cut across my hand between my finger and that -- my thumb and my index finger. And it was very frustrating and it hurt a good amount and now it just feels like -- I'm a day later now and it just feels like -- it almost just feels like I have a bruise there. So now it’s like the cut's still there and it's healing. I've been changing the Band-Aids and it just feels bruised. It still feels tender there. So I, I have felt awfully dumb about that and definitely not going to let myself cut any more bagels like that for the foreseeable future, hopefully for forever. Hopefully I've learned my lesson for good but apparently it wasn't enough the first or second time and cutting it worse the third time is definitely good re-encouragement to be more careful about that in the future. But then my partner, after I'm at work, they send me a text that just goes, "The bagels are evil." And I was like, "Please tell me you didn't cut yourself." But apparently she stepped away while it was toasting. And hers was a…

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“I heard something sort of swooping around my room.”

One night I woke up in the middle of the night, and I heard something sort of swooping around my room. Like, I could hear it flying. It was doing circles around my room, and I got scared because I didn't know what it was. And it was the middle of the night, so I had woken up from kind of a dead sleep, so I was partially still asleep I think, and a little groggy, and -- so instead of trying to, like, figure out what it was, I, I left my bedroom and closed the door behind me. And I leave my door open at night usually which they say you're not supposed to do, but I do. And then I'm standing out in the hallway. And the bat is in my room and I thought, "Okay. This is ridiculous. I can't go back to sleep. I can't -- I ne- I need to figure out what to do." I didn't have my glasses on so I couldn't really see what was going on with it. So I reached in and I turned the light on in my room thinking that if it was a bat -- which I assumed it was a bat, not a bird -- thinking that it would -- I would at least be able to see what it was or maybe it would scare it or something. I don't know. I just thought, "Okay, light, and I need" -- you know, the place is completely dark, “I need to get some light so I can see what's going on." So I turn the light on, and I could see it flying around in the room. But again, no glasses, so couldn't really tell what it was. So then I thought, "Okay. I need to get this thing out of my room so that at least I can go to bed even if I can't get it out of the house. Like I feel like if I can shut my door and I'm inside my room, then I can go to bed." So I turned -- left the light on in my room, turned the light on in the hallway and left all the other lights off, again, thinking if it was a bat, it might try and go where it was more dark. So I did that and I came and I sat…

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