“It was like the opposite of a date going really well.”

A guy asked me out for coffee saying that he he just felt like he needed to to make more friends and I was like I took this at face value and I thought to myself. “You know, what? Yeah, I could use more friends. Dang it. I’ll go on this date”. Wait. No I will not I won’t go on this date. I will go to coffee with this guy.

Sorry, I have to go in a room because my children just got home. My children are very loud, like most children. So I said yes and I went and you know, it was okay. It was a little awkward because I’m just like, you know socially incompetent and he was a little bit awkward too and I went home, you know, he drove me home and I was like, “okay this is — that was okay. Um a little odd”. I probably wouldn’t want to necessarily do it all the time. But he’s a nice guy. Um, and then he wouldn’t stop calling me. Like I went on vacation to the west coast to visit friends and I was hanging out with friends and he just kept calling me and I told my friend, my best friend, I was like, “I don’t understand it. Like I’m on vacation. Why would you call somebody that you know is on vacation visiting people? Like they don’t want to talk to you, they want to talk to their friends that they’re visiting”. And she very kindly was like, “Okay. I’m going to explain something to you. And that’s that when a guy in his early twenties asks a girl in her early twenties out for coffee to be friends, what he means is that he is looking for a romantic partner and he would like to — He would like you to go out with him to see if you could be potent — like he likes you.” Basically. Yeah. Yeah, and yes, I had to have somebody sit me down and tell me “hey if a guy asks you out for coffee, it means that he likes you.”

And I was incensed. I was like “Well dang it, if he — he said he wanted friends”. Like if he had straight up told me that he liked me, I could have turned him down and we could have avoided this whole awkward situation. And then but then in hindsight, I was like, “Oh no.” Because I didn’t know that this ‘asking people out for coffee’ thing was “hey, I I want to prospectively date you.” I didn’t understand that. And. Yeah, so I didn’t understand that this coffee thing was like “I prospectively like you and I would like to see if maybe we could date” so then I was like, “Oh no” Because I had seen people going out for coffee and I was like, “Oh, hey these people are like, hanging out and talking”, and I thought that they were just like hanging out having conversations and I love to have conversations one-on-one with people despite my awkwardness. So I thought “Hey so I had, I had asked guys out for coffee before” and and at least one and and he never answered the email. And at the time I’d been like kind of ticked. I was like “Well fine. I didn’t want to be friends with you either. You just go out for coffee with other people and have friends with them”, but it was because he probably thought that I was like asking him out and I was not asking him out. I just wanted I literally just wanted to go out and have coffee and have a good conversation with him.

Anyway, yeah, so that’s my my story about accidentally going on a date with a guy and having no clue that I was on a date and not wanting to be on a date and it was like the opposite of a date going really well.

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