TW: Mentions of physical abuse and trauma
You’ll just be out doing something. For example, there was one time I was in a grocery store and I walked past this guy who looked a lot like my dad, and my household was very abusive growing up. And my dad, my dad, my dad was physically abusive among other things, and I hadn’t spoken to him in like three years at this point, hadn’t seen him or anything. And when that happened, you know, sh** just started going through my mind. I don’t remember, I didn’t remember, just everything like that I was grocery shopping for, just completely out of my mind. My boyfriend was talking to me, I don’t remember anything he said. I wasn’t really listening at that point. And you know like, my breathing started picking up and I, my brain was flooded with like, fear and anger and, and mostly fear. And so I started sort of having a panic attack and like all of these, whoo, all these memories of like different times that abuse happened throughout my life from him went through me. And I think I ended up having to go to the bathroom like my boyfriend noticed it and he led me there and I did — there’s a thing called grounding you can do where it’s, it’s basically it — they’ve showed it on f***ing Better Call Saul. Like Saul’s brother, he does this, it’s called grounding. It’s where you, you look at things you can see, and you listen for things you can hear, and you feel around for different textures and you notice them. You purposely take a second to notice them, and it’s essentially a distraction and a way to pull yourself back into reality. But yeah flooding is a serious thing if you experience it often, and it can really f*** up your life because if that sh** happens at work, which it’s happened to me, happens enough time, you’re f***ing fired.