“How do you know her?”
Adult

“How do you know her?”

When when I was in my twenties, I used to frequent a Irish bar. I was actually in — I was 20. And I would go in there every weekend and listen to the music and have a bite to eat, get a beer. And when I turned 21, my mother wanted me to — she wanted to buy my first beer. And I told her, “Hey, let's go, let's go to the pub. It's really a great place.” And we walked in, and the bartender said, “Hi, [name].” My mom just looked at me and said, “How do you know her?” “Oh, she's here all the time. Do you want your regular?” he says. My mother just looked at me and told the waitress, “You need to card her.” And the waitress refused to card me because they'd been serving me for a year in the pub without ID, and now here I was finally turning legal, and they didn't want to know that they were serving me for a year without being legal. It was funny.

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July 17, 2022
“It was a really small world moment.”
Adult

“It was a really small world moment.”

So I graduated from college on April 30th, and, as I was walking out of the arena to find my dad after the ceremony, um, I kind of was meeting up with him, and this guy with white hair and sunglasses recognized the two of us, and it took me a second and then I recognized this guy, too. He’d lived about seven houses down the road from us when we were living in Ohio. Um, and he was, his house was on my walk to the neighborhood park, and my dad and I went to the neighborhood park pretty much every evening that the weather permitted, so we were always walking by this guy’s house. He had five boys eventually. I didn’t really wanna play with boys that much, but they had a lot of cool yard toys, so I would play by myself with their Hoppity Hops or in their sandbox or something. And my dad became good friends with this guy that appeared outside of my graduation ceremony, and I thinking they contacted each other like sometimes, maybe talked on the phone like once a year a little bit. When my dad went to visit his relative that were still living in that part of Ohio, occasionally he’d go see this guy, but we had no idea he was gonna be at my graduation ceremony at this sort of small — smaller, not really small — um Christian college, but it turns out um one of his nephews, who is actually like from down South, not even from the Midwest, was at my college as a soccer player, and he’d been there like the whole time I had been there. I didn’t know him, ‘cause I didn’t interact really with the soccer players, and we were very different majors, but so this guy I knew when I was really young was at this ceremony, unbeknownst to me, there to watch his nephew graduate from the same school of like thirty-seven hundred that I was graduating from. And it was a really small world moment because this neighbor remembered me when I was, before I could talk, when I was just in a stroller being taken to the neighborhood park, and he knew me like when I was a toddler, in elementary school, and it was kind of one of those small world, things come around moments. And…

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July 17, 2022
“I was kind of on this brink of like hating school.”
Adult

“I was kind of on this brink of like hating school.”

But the best one was so, you know, I get the call coming in and the first thing we do is we like ask them for their name and information so we can look them up in the system. And she -- she gave me her name and I'm like, “Wait a minute. I think this is my fifth grade teacher.” And I only had her name to go on, like, I didn't know what her address was or, you know, anything like that. So I helped her with what she needed and everything and then kind of as we were wrapping up I said, you know, “I'm sorry to like ask but did you used to teach, you know, at whatever elementary school?” And, and she was like, “Yes!” And I was like, “Okay, so you were my teacher, like, I don't know how many years ago,” and many because it was fifth grade, “and like I just want to tell you you were my favorite teacher in elementary school.” Because I really struggled especially like I had a really terrible fourth grade teacher, and I was diagnosed with ADHD that year and she didn't believe it and just thought I was lazy and was just really mean and like humiliated me in front of the class and stuff. And so I was kind of on this brink of like hating school, and then this teacher really turned it around for me in fifth grade. And, but the best part, she was like, “Okay, so what's your name?” And I, I said what my name was and, and she was like, “Did you wear glasses?” And I was like, “No that was the other [name] in our class.” And, and then she goes, “You had dimples, right?” Which I do and people always comment on them. And I was just like, “Yes!” Like I thought that was so amazing that she could remember that after all those years, and it was just so fun to like get to talk to her and tell her that she had, you know, meant something to me.

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July 17, 2022
“My brain was flooded with like, fear and anger.”
Adult

“My brain was flooded with like, fear and anger.”

Note: There is language that is excluded in the transcript but not excluded in the audio. TW: Mentions of physical abuse and trauma You'll just be out doing something. For example, there was one time I was in a grocery store and I walked past this guy who looked a lot like my dad, and my household was very abusive growing up. And my dad, my dad, my dad was physically abusive among other things, and I hadn't spoken to him in like three years at this point, hadn't seen him or anything. And when that happened, you know, sh** just started going through my mind. I don't remember, I didn't remember, just everything like that I was grocery shopping for, just completely out of my mind. My boyfriend was talking to me, I don’t remember anything he said. I wasn't really listening at that point. And you know like, my breathing started picking up and I, my brain was flooded with like, fear and anger and, and mostly fear. And so I started sort of having a panic attack and like all of these, whoo, all these memories of like different times that abuse happened throughout my life from him went through me. And I think I ended up having to go to the bathroom like my boyfriend noticed it and he led me there and I did -- there's a thing called grounding you can do where it's, it's basically it -- they've showed it on f***ing Better Call Saul. Like Saul's brother, he does this, it's called grounding. It's where you, you look at things you can see, and you listen for things you can hear, and you feel around for different textures and you notice them. You purposely take a second to notice them, and it's essentially a distraction and a way to pull yourself back into reality. But yeah flooding is a serious thing if you experience it often, and it can really f*** up your life because if that sh** happens at work, which it’s happened to me, happens enough time, you're f***ing fired.

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July 17, 2022
“It was just me and her. We were dead silent.”
Special Collection / Teen

“It was just me and her. We were dead silent.”

I’m not that political, but um, with the Supreme Court overturning Roe v Wade on Friday, that really really really hit me hard. When, when I found out, I was in the car with my mom. We were driving to go to a museum only like 15 minutes away. So we were -- we had just gotten in the car and we were on the expressway. We had just gotten breakfast, and she changed the radio station, and it said that it was overturned, and it was dead silent in the car. It was just me and her. We were dead silent. And then she was, like, swearing and yelling at the radio, like she was really really mad, and I was just sitting there, like, I was about to start crying. And we barely talked to each other for the rest of the ride to the museum. And I was just, after that, I was just kinda messed up for the rest of the day. Like I didn’t know what to do or what to say, and it just kinda felt like I was so sad, but like, I didn’t know what to do. And that night, I cried myself to sleep. I mean, cried myself to sleep. I have never cried myself to sleep -- like I probably have, I’m probably just being overdramatic -- but I, I was just laying in my bed, and I was trying to distract myself by doing other things, and I couldn’t. I was just sobbing. And I would go on like TikTok to distract myself, and it wouldn’t distract me because all I’d see on there was protests, and other people crying, and other people being super pissed about what’s happening, and, for me, I’m 15 years old, turning 16 in like a week. There really isn’t anything I can do, and since I don’t have my driver’s license, and most people I’m friends with don’t have driver’s licenses, I can’t really -- it’s not like I can go to protests or anything, so I can’t really do anything. I feel so helpless. And so useless. Like, I can’t vote on it being on the ballot, I can’t do -- I can’t put like signatures so then it can be on the ballot in November, but I mean, I’m getting my whole family to do it. Whenever we see people um…

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July 14, 2022
“It would take more than a third of my yearly income to just have the kid.”
Adult / Special Collection

“It would take more than a third of my yearly income to just have the kid.”

Just thinking about how many times in my life my period has been six to eight weeks late, even when I was on birth control keeping -- trying to keep it regular. And not to mention, you know, pregnancies that need to be ended because of health issues. Not to mention it's just, you know, a way to keep women and families poor. And just like the cycle of abuse of people that know they shouldn't be moms or can't be moms or can't be dads for whatever reason, if they're just not mature enough or don't have the financial means or, you know, they've had their own trauma that they've never dealt with and then they just pass it along to kids and just create this cycle. And it just, it's just really disappointing. And it just really bums me out that people that like are so pro-life or you know count this as a victory, that they just, like, don't care about women's health services in general, about keeping Planned Parenthood funded, about keeping medical expenses for women at an affordable price, which they absolutely are not. You know, if I got pregnant this year, it would take almost -- it would take more than a third of my yearly income to just have the kid for the one year or nine months, you know, of medical expenses. And, I don't know, it's just, yeah, why are these people that are so pro-life so, like, against sex education and keeping people safe and keeping people informed and giving them the opportunity to make sure that accidents don't happen? I don't know. So it's just -- it really feels like, yeah, it just really feels like an attack on women's freedoms. And it's just sad to see.

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July 14, 2022
“You’re not a human anymore … you are a potential vessel for a potential baby.”
Adult / Special Collection

“You’re not a human anymore … you are a potential vessel for a potential baby.”

Note: There is language that is excluded in the transcript but not excluded in the audio. This week has been kinda hard. The news with you know the Supreme Court unraveling our rights as we sit idly by has been difficult. I am very scared for what comes next. Already I have friends who, like, take medications for, like, rheumatoid arthritis and I think the other one’s for anxiety or something and their doctor says that they have to take them off those medications because those medications can be used as, like, they can induce abortions. And it’s just like, it’s really horrifying, like, my one friend, she uses this medicine to prevent her being in pain all the time, and they’re saying, “Because you have a uterus, and there’s a possibility you could get pregnant, and this medicine would mess with that, you can no longer take this medicine. It’s not a choice.” Like, that’s some disgusting s*** right there, ‘cause I bet you the men taking that medicine aren’t having to go off that medicine, so it’s like, “You’re not a human anymore that has like pain that needs to be managed. You are a potential vessel for a potential baby.” And that person’s not even married, you know like, she has no plans to be pregnant, it’s just, it’s really beyond disturbing, and I’m worried for my -- for my gay friends and I’m worried for me about like not having birth control options, and it’s just. Yeah, I really am almost numb from like I don’t know the shock of it and not knowing what to do with that.

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July 14, 2022
“There’s scars that can get ignored both ways.”
Adult / Special Collection

“There’s scars that can get ignored both ways.”

I guess that brings me to say like you feel like you have to align yourself with one side or the other, and, to be honest, with the abortion issue I really don’t. I would say I for sure lean more towards the side of being pro-life. That would be the sentiment I carry for myself, like for my own self I don’t believe abortion is right. I know if I were put in that position, even regardless of the circumstances, it would be better for me not to have that procedure because I would carry the guilt with me for the rest of my life, and I’m pretty sure it might as, like I might as well, in a sense, be dead myself. I would feel tremendous guilt, so I know for me that would never be the right choice regardless of the circumstances. I also like could not recommend it to a friend or someone that asked my advice explicitly on the issue because I think one thing that they’re maybe not talking about enough is that I think people would leave this procedure having the abortion, I think they could easily leave it with very deep emotional scars, and maybe it’s a healthcare right, maybe not, but I think maybe we’re overlooking like, “What could be the consequences of this?” ‘Cause we’re focused so much on “It’s, it’s my right to do what I want.” And I mean going the other way you could say like, “Oh, we’re so focused on saving the life of the unborn baby,” which I believe that’s important, but then we’re ignoring the scars of like maybe the woman didn’t wanna have the baby. There’s scars that can get ignored both ways. I just feel like lately it’s been we’re favoring like, “It’s too scarring for me not to get to do what I want, so like we should make abortion pretty easily accessible,” and we’re not focusing on like some people could be really affected by this lifelong and they might not ever be the same again. That can be a tremendous scar, in and of itself I think. I can’t say too much ‘cause I’ve never been in that position, but yeah. To be honest I think the court’s decision was a decent compromise, unlike some people I know that are really pro-life, I think it’s best that we do…

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July 14, 2022
“The right to life does not necessarily outweigh the right to bodily autonomy.”
Adult / Special Collection

“The right to life does not necessarily outweigh the right to bodily autonomy.”

Note: There is language that is excluded in the transcript but not excluded in the audio. Most prominently, I guess, the Supreme Court overturned the landmark decision in Roe versus Wade, and abortion is no longer a guaranteed right. And this seems to me at the very least, like, nothing more than license for the state to control women's bodies. And I mean this one I've at least seen coming for the past couple months, you know, I mean, there was the draft opinion that was leaked. But it is still horrible. I mean, a large portion of the US population -- I shouldn't even have just said women because it's just anyone who can get pregnant -- not to mention that this will, of course, disproportionately impact poor people, black people, any person of color, really. I'm probably missing a few other important marginalized groups who, I mean, members of the LGBT community who are often at much more risk of being victims of sexual violence, right? Like I mean, all of these people are disproportionately, you know, in need of access to abortion care and will be, you know, disproportionately limited in their ability to obtain abortion care, especially members of the trans community who are already fighting and struggling for, um, access to healthcare generally, much less abortion. And like I've always understood the anxiety of like pro-life people. Like, if you take seriously the idea that fetuses are people deserving of moral consideration, then it makes sense to be concerned about the taking of the life of a fetus. But, there is so much more at play than just that. There are health risks to the mother, and I honestly think like no matter if you think the fetus has the right to life, the mother definitely has the right to life as well, as well as the right to bodily autonomy. And, I mean there are a couple essays I read, especially Judas Jarvis Thompson's, the essay in defense of abortion from I think this paper was from like the 70s. But she argues that even with another human being fully developed, the right to life does not necessarily outweigh the right to bodily autonomy because of the physical impacts and the sacrifices you have to make in order to, in order to go through a pregnancy. Thus the right -- or just physical sacrifices…

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July 14, 2022

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