Paul Ganago

“And then he said “Best two out of three?””

This is a story about Uno. I and my friends, we used to play Uno a lot on the computer, and we always like used it to settle arguments and settle like debates if we were like too tired to actually debate something. And the running joke in our friend group was that I never win. I every — every single time that I got close, someone just ‘plus foured’ me and then I had to draw and then I had to keep drawing and then I had thirty cards and everyone else had four. And then I would lose catastrophically or I would just get to thirty cards and just sit there right at the beginning the game. Or like some other random b******* would happen, and I would just be there like third or fourth place out of the four. And like we play with the rule where you need to draw until you match the color or number and we played with like stacking and jumping in, so that should have helped but it never really did and like every single time that I had an argument someone – with a friend they were like “Yo, let’s settle this with Uno!” and they’d have this big ass grin on their face and I’m like, “Okay cool. Yeah. Sure. Sure, buddy. Let’s let’s see how many – how many dozen cards you have less than me when we – when we end.” And like every single time that I played I couldn’t win at god d*** Uno, which it’s not even a skill based game, it’s just luck and I just couldn’t win. And like one time – one time one of my friends was like trying to decide where to this is something stupid. I think it was where we should go eat and it was debating between one my favorite restaurants and just the like – just one down the street because it was easier to get to. And this friend he wanted to go to the f****** local Arby’s and like I didn’t want to because I had been eating Arby’s for the past like three days. And we played a game. It was actually close. I got down to one card. He got down to one card at the same time. And then I had to draw like always and then I drew one card. Two cards. Five cards. And then I was at like eighteen cards and he was dying laughing on the call. And then he just played his yellow. His god d*** yellow six and we had to go to f****** Arby’s again, and that was – God d*** it. I don’t wanna eat another f****** Arby’s. Um, sorry that was a lotta swearing. And then the next day, we did the same exact like thing again. “We should go to Arby’s or we should go to a different thing. We should go to the” – what’s place called? Steak and Shake. So it’s either Arby’s or Steak and Shake and I’m like, “All right, I wanna get a milkshake. Please, let’s get a milkshake.” Cuz, also the loser, would have to pay for everyone else’s food. So I was just their little money b**** for most of the time. So we play the game. He got down to one card and then he started drawing. And this never happened before, but he kept drawing and he drew one. Three. Five. Ten. And when he was at eighteen cards, he sounded like he was about to cry. And I looked at his cards and then I looked at my cards and I had two. And they were a pair. And I could just play one after the other. They were a pair of blue threes. And then he changed the color to blue. And so I just played one, said “Uno” jumped in, and won! And that was the best feeling in the world. He was dumb struck and I was just extremely happy. Just screaming, I think I – it was like two A M at the time. I think I woke up my neighbors from how much I screamed, but yeah, that was fantastic. And then he said “Best two out of three?”

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