“I do a lot of silly things, and it’s my favorite thing about life.”

I live in a rural area, and we have wetlands and that involves cattails. And I don’t know if you know this ’bout cattails, but at the end of the season they basically turn into milkweed, kind of. Like, you know, milkweed pods, they have little seeds and they’re on floaties. Or, like, dandelions. Imagine that but like cattails. Like, you’re, you’re imagining like this hotdog, corn dog shaped thing. If you squish it, it actually loosens up just a ton of these tiny little seeds. Like, imagine like a dandelion but compact. And so you can basically explode them and their floofs go everywhere. And on the way to work, because he [someone the diarist is seeing] also escorts me to work on bicycle, I picked a couple of cattail heads and I left them in the basket of my bicycle during my shift. And so when he came to pick me up after my shift was done, it was past the time that the store closes, so nobody was there. Doors were locked. We exploded a couple of these cattails under the canopy of one of the entrances. And then, one of the other guys I’m seeing, the next day, was like, “Hey, so I had to go grocery shopping this morning and I noticed under the entrance canopy there was a bunch of fluff. Was that you?” because I am very known for being playful, and I was like, “Yeah!” He’s like, “What was that?” And I was like, “I exploded some cattails.”

And the rest of the story is then my next shift after that, I exploded a cattail — ’cause I picked another one on the way to work again — under the canopy again, and I was a little bit early for work ‘cause I like to do shopping a little bit like for my lunch and stuff, and anything I need. And I also get ready at work — at work. So like, I put on my shirt, and I do my hair and everything like at work so that I look presentable, ’cause riding your bike to work destroys your hair and makes you sweaty and everything. And so I’d exploded this cattail and then I came back down after getting ready. I still had some, you know, time to waste, and the person I was seeing was still there after shopping waiting for me to come down and say hi, and as it turns out, the airflow — the airflow was making all these little seeds float into the store. I think the entire grocery store was being brushed by cattail seeds floating in from me, and I was like, “Oh no. I hope I don’t get in trouble this time,” ’cause like, I did not expect that to happen. Because the first time I did it, the store was closed, so I couldn’t see the outcome and didn’t know that I was bombarding the store. And I was like, “Oh no, I hope nobody’s allergic to this.” Like, I didn’t think this all the way through. So, I do a lot of silly stuff like that. I do a lot of silly things, and it’s my favorite thing about life.

Recent Stories