This really made me feel disrespected, and this is about me. Maybe not their behavior might not have been about me, but this made me feel hurt. Somebody came up to me and more or less lied directly to my face about having been there the week before. Just, right, like, straight up, bold-faced lie — bald faced lie? I don’t remember — like, it wasn’t that they gave me some excuse, right? That I think would have been at least respectable, and, you know, as respectful at least to my observational skills and what have you to know that they were not in class to notice that who wasn’t in class and who was, and also I wouldn’t maybe have known directly that they were like, alright, fine. You know, that sucks.
But this student just came up to me and told me directly that they were there. Now, I knew that they weren’t there because only five of my students had shown up the week before and she was definitely not one of them. And quite frankly, I was like, so shocked by the fact that she had so boldly lied to me, after I had mentioned that I only had five students showed up. I don’t know if she missed that, if she walked in late or something that day because I had a lot of students walk in late too in that section. It’s interesting, that section is like, both my most participatory but also seems to be the most flippant about attendance and I don’t really get that. But whatever.
And it just, yeah, like I don’t like lies. I don’t like being lied to. And again, it’s one thing to like — it was just — like it would have been one thing had she lied, like, even actually, like, lied intelligently to me. There’s just something about that that also just makes me feel like, “Oh, you think I’m, like, stupid, or you think that I’m like, gullible.” You know, that’s kind of what that, what that signals to me. Or kind of more importantly, you think like, I don’t matter as a human being, like you, you are treating me basically just like as an instrument to your grade. Like, you, you don’t, like, see me as a subject.