She passed very quietly and she just ran down. That was kind of the way it was with my dad when he died, that she — he had been in this coma state for about 14 hours, I think. And my mom had been standing beside him holding his hand for practically the whole time. And I finally talked her into going and sitting down in another room in a recliner to rest. And the nurse told me, as I was going back into his room, she says, “Sometimes people need permission to go, that they can’t let go until they know that everything will be all right.” And so I went in, and it was just me and one other person who was sitting off to the side. And I went in and took my dad’s hand, and I told him that I would take care of mom, that she could come live with us, that anything that she needed, that I would take care of her, and that he didn’t have to worry because she would always have a place to live with us. And he never took another breath. That was all he needed to hear. He just needed to hear that mom would be okay. And that’s what was keeping him from doing his transition.
So, so, if you ever are with a loved one, who is passing, I always encourage people — uh, sometimes I’m with people who, um, they are with their loved one, but they want somebody else with them. Like, one time, there was a, a teenage boy who was the only family member with his father who was passing, and he did not want to be there alone. And so, we took turns, their vigil companions, we took turns being with him, with his father, so that he wouldn’t be alone. And whenever I’m with someone, I always encourage them to talk to your loved one, tell them you love them. Don’t bring up bad things that they need to worry about, obviously, but talk to them. Tell ‘em you love them. Tell ‘em about your family. Not too long ago, I was with a woman who was with her mother, who was passing, and she was just nervous, ‘cause she didn’t understand the death process and just didn’t know what to expect and she just needed somebody there to kinda support her. And so we talked and I explained to her about how there are transitions that, that usually a person who is passing will go through — not always, but quite often there’s a pattern to it. And then we sat and she talked about her mother which was lovely, absolutely lovely. Her mother was an amazing person and we sat there and I listened to her talk about her mother and all the adventures she’d had in her life. And as we sat there, I was listening to her mother’s breathing, and then I heard that — the change of the rhythm of the breathing, and I was pretty sure that that was going to be the end because of that transition to a different rhythm. And it was. And — but I encouraged her to tell her mother that she loved her. So that she would have that memory, uh, after her mother was gone of being able to share that love with her.
So anyway, as I sat there last night, with this woman, who I had never met before, whom I didn’t know at all, she did not know me. In fact, I was thinking, while I was sitting there, “Won’t she be surprised when she, when she dies and her soul goes up that she sees me sitting there?” She’ll probably say, “Who the heck are you?” But anyway. But, as she passed, even though I didn’t know her — that, I got a little teary-eyed because I was given the privilege of being with her at this most sacred of sacred moments. So that is my story.