Our fertility specialist basically told us we don’t have any chances besides IVF. So I’m off of all of my meds, and we decided to just try to get through the holidays and maybe enjoy up and through spring before we really try to make a decision. While I don’t have any like moral, like, objections to IVF or anything of that nature, it sounds exhausting. The prep work sounds just very difficult, emotionally and physically, and the price tag, of course, doesn’t instill a lot of excitement in me because I just don’t know how we would do it.
And on one hand, kids are kind of like a, you only have a little bit of time, especially if you’re a woman. And so like, yeah, you might have debt. You could find a way — you might get better, better paying jobs in the future. So it might be short term. And so making a decision based off financials about expanding your family is really short-sighted. But it’s still just really concerning to think about. And we’d have to go to New York, which is just quite a bit of travel and time off, and I don’t know how much I want to do that right now, or just take some time to, to breathe. So that might be more of our play right now. I’m not sure.
So that’s been a bummer. It’s really hard to go through the holidays knowing that this isn’t an option for me like my friends, to just get pregnant. Um. It’s, it’s quite a bummer. Um. I don’t want this for us. But maybe we’re not supposed to, which is also a really hard pill to swallow. And do you force that with IVF? What if it never works? Like, what do you do then? How far do you go? How badly do you want it? And I don’t know the answer to those questions at the moment, because I feel very emotional about it. And I really just am angry. Like, it’s so unfair. And so many people I know that — of course, the holidays, everyone has announcements, you know, and people that, “Ope, he got us again! Wasn’t planning it, but I guess we’ll have another!” And you’re just like, you’re so flippant about it and it’s — I just want one. So, just trying to like, focus on what I can.