Thinking about a time when you were more independent. Well, I was thinking about something that happened with my son, actually. His fourth grade teacher was bringing their class to the campus where I worked to go to a museum, and then they were going to have lunch in the Student Union. And I, my schedule was such that it was gonna allow me to — like, I wasn’t gonna meet them at the museum, but I could meet them when they came for lunch. And, um, you know, I remember I walked in and I saw there’s this group of like, you know, really rambunctious fourth graders and their teacher just sat down. And he’s like going around some tables, he’s like, “All right, go get your lunch. When you get it, you know, come back here. You know, we’ll sit and we’ll have our lunch before you get back on the bus.”
And my first impulse was like, “I need to go up there to the counter with my son and figure out what he wants and, you know, pay for it, and, just to make the transaction as smooth as possible, you know, using my adult self and my experience with ordering,” which I had — every time we’d go into a restaurant like this, or like to a, you know, to a fast food restaurant, I would handle the ordering. I’d say like, “What do you want?” And, you know, he would tell me and I’d tell the person. Or maybe he would tell the person, but I still would be the one who would like, you know, whip out the card or the cash and get it paid for and handle everything.
Um, but I realized… I mean, I don’t know what stopped me from doing that. But I, I did stop and I just let it unfold. And I watched, you know, when these kids would go up to, and I think at the time that it was like a Wendy’s in the basement of the Union, and they would go up and they would, you know, go up and they’d hem and haw, you know, like, “I’ll have…” and they’d really have to think about it. You know, and then maybe they would have to look at the money that they had and didn’t — you know, it was just like taking forever. And they were like, kind of slowly counting out their money, and maybe not even ordering the most balanced or nutritious lunch they were supposed to be ordering.
But [their teacher] just let them, and I realized that this was actually really important part of the trip. This wasn’t just getting them fed before they go back to school, it was actually a part of the experience. And I was so glad I hung back and just let it unfold. And I realized that that was like a really important and useful thing for my son also to, to do. ‘Cause I did tend to — and even, even after that experience, I tended to do things for him. And it wasn’t that I didn’t think he was capable. It was me sort of thinking about like, “Well how can we get this done efficiently? How can we be, um — you know, like not put a burden on, you know, whoever we’re dealing with?” Whether it’s a grocery store clerk or, you know, being at the post office or at the library. Like, I can just get this transaction done really quickly, and that’s like easier for everybody. And, you know, in doing so, though, I raised a kid who actually didn’t know that much about those transactions and wasn’t as comfortable.