My teacher that I work mostly with is having a lot of problems with, with one of the new hires, and every time the administration comes in to observe this person, they do exactly what they’re supposed to do. And when they, they are not being observed, then they just really don’t do anything and they sit on the phone and they don’t really help kids and, you know, they’ll do what they’re forced to do, but they just don’t — they’re just inactive.
So, this person — so, this person got observed several times and he did not know that he was going to be observed. But when the administrator showed up he instantly got up and did what he was supposed to do. And my friend, the teacher I work with, when I — I caught her later on that day, and when nobody else was there in the room, and she said, “I yelled at him today.” And I’m like, “Well, why did you yell at him?” And she said, “I told him you do exactly what you are supposed to do, you do a really good job, when you’re being observed. But when you are not being observed, then you, then you, you don’t. I need you to step up and, and do what you’re supposed to do all the time, not just when you’re being observed.” And she was just falling apart with guilt and she was so upset because, because she doesn’t like being mean. She doesn’t like to be that supervisor and it’s a hard conversation, but she kind of did it out of anger and frustration without really planning it.
So, a couple days later, when I was talking to her — well, I told her at that time, when she told me, I said, “It’s okay to be clear. You, you are doing him a favor. You don’t need to feel guilty because what do you — what’s going to be the result if you don’t? He’s gonna get fired. He’s gonna get transferred. Or it’ll just be an awful work situation, and you’ll talk behind his back. But you’re — if you don’t talk to him, that’s not fair to him.”
So, I, I keep using the expression “clear is kind” that comes from Brené Brown because, you know, you have to have those difficult conversations. So, a few days later, she pulled me aside and she said, “He’s doing so much better. Now that, now that I talked to him. Ever since I talked to him, he’s doing great.”
And I’m, and I’m like, “See, you did the right thing. You don’t need to beat yourself up for that.”