Around Christmas, my mom had asked me for a Christmas list, and I’m very grateful that I still get gifts from my mother. This is a couple years ago but all the same. And some weeks go by, and I’m out to breakfast with myself, my mother, and my brother. She reminds my brother to put together an Amazon list of what he wants for Christmas, and I say, “Oh shoot! That reminds me…” She goes, “No, I already got yours. And I bought everything from the list.”
My stomach instantly sinks. And I said, “Were you looking at my Amazon list that said ‘My name only do not buy’?” She’s like, “Well I didn’t look at the name of it. It was just all your stuff was in it.” And I distinctly remember what was in it, was that I was trying to like pick between different brown coat designs. So, there was seven brown trench coats. And I was kind of just like it was on the list. So I could kind of like weighing between which ones I wanted, and — so I look at my mother dead in the eyes. I go, “Did you buy me seven brown coats?” And she looks flustered and annoyed and she’s like, “I don’t know. I just like, got what was on there I guess.” Like, “You better be grateful.” And I’m like, “True, true.”
And so Christmas comes along and sure enough like with each box, it is a different version of the same-ish design coat, and like, even my granny was there and like after like coat number three, she just kind of starts looking confused. And she’s like, “You wanted a lot of coats this Christmas, huh?”