Note: There is language that is excluded in the transcript but not excluded in the audio.
But what I want to say about roommates was that I had the same roommate for 16 years, and then I married her. Or so, that’s what some people in our family thought because um, you know, a lot of the time when you are queer or gay or whatnot, you have to stay closeted to some or all of the people you know for some or all time. And, [laughs,] I, I didn’t outright lie to some people, but also didn’t outright say anything to a lot of people for a lot of the years that I was with my wife because, well, I was kind of in denial for the first literally seven, eight, solid years. But then I admitted it, eight years in, and you know, we told our daughter and she said, “Yeah, of course, I know.” [Laughs.] And I guess a lot of people probably did know, but didn’t say anything back to us.
But yeah, my grandma… The first time I ever said anything about being gay, or being with the person I had showed up to her house with for the past 16 years on Sundays, um, is our invitation to our little reception because we had went down to the courthouse and got married! [Laughs.] A year after — a year and a day after it was legal nationwide, we went to the courthouse in downtown Detroit and got married in a private little — we didn’t do the bulk — ’cause they have like a bulk ceremony too, where they marry a bunch of people at once. But we did the little thing in the little chapel with the lady. We had a very nice lovely chaplain, or whatever she was. And we came with my stepdad, her mom, my best friend, our daughter, and then our friend, and we all went downtown Detroit to the big courthouse, got married there and then we walked over and, you know, forgive me if you were a Lafayette [Coney Island] loyalist, but we went to, um, American — that’s what it’s called, the one next to it? American Coney Island? Yeah, we went to that one and had some coney dogs and whatnot. Because you know, when in Detroit. Um, and that was our fun little wedding day with some of our family, and just quick little thing.
But yeah, she was my roommate for 16 years, and for some of those years she was even my daughter’s aunt, ’cause you gotta kinda make a good reason why you live with another woman. And oh Lord, the things you have to do when you’re a queer person. Gosh, gosh, gosh. There was some things over the years we had to fib about and, you know, and then there were people we told, too, and then had terrible, terrible reactions. Like, our daughter’s father was not very happy at all, and called us lots of mean names, and threatened to do lots of terrible things. And so there were a lot of reasons that we didn’t tell everybody, ’cause we didn’t have great reactions, the few people that we did tell. Basically, the only people that we really fully told from the beginning were other gay people, and then, like, I guess my closest family really knew. I mean, for the most part. They were buying us joint gifts, like griddles and s*** from pretty early on, you know. But anyway, that was my roommate for 16 years and now we’ve been together 25 years and I love her very much and I’m very lucky.